sticker balance shock

i gave into the imposing doom of checking my credit card balances today. yikes. i knew that after the recent christmas shopping binge that it would be ugly. i guess i wasn't prepared for just how ugly. it's like my credit card flew from the top of a debt decorated christmas tree and hit every branch on the way down. merry xmas to me.

on top of that, i lost my citypass for the cta today. damn it. it was in a cute little coach change purse that was an awesome find at the outlet mall. damn.

to end things on a positive note, i had tea at the swanky peninsula hotel with my family today and it was spectacular. insanely overpriced for tea, one glass of champagne and finger food, but so cute. beautifully festive christmas decor, excellent customer service and tasty little pastries.

but im still pissed about my bus pass.

damn.

playing catch up

so i was a total failure with NaBloPoMo. wow. oops! i lack what you would call...motivation...sometimes. unless there is a piece of chocolate hanging in front of my face, i really fail to complete any task these days. i have been so overwhelmed with wedding planning and christmas and just life, that i am really trying to play catch up with everything.

wedding planning is in full swing. i'd like to think i've made good progress. most of the biggies have been nailed down: dress (yay!), bridesmaid dresses, flowers, venue, officiant, photographer. i have played email-tag with some musicians, but haven't scheduled interviews yet. it is honestly just a pain in the ass. i'd rather throw their names in a hat and just pick one so i don't have to be bothered with it anymore. we have to go try out some bakeries too. that should be fun. because we get to eat. chocolate. mmmm mmm. what's not to like? then there's a whole bunch of other stuff like what my hubs2b wants to wear, what his guys will wear, hotels, my veil and accessories and SHOES (very, very important), favors, registering for gifts, planning the shower, invitations (this is my profession and i am anal retentive so this should prove to be quite a pain in the ass bc i don't foresee myself allowing anyone to help me bc i like to torture myself), and the list goes on and on. it is fun, don't get me wrong and i know i will be sad when it's over, but right now, i want to throw something. at someone.

i am STRESSED OUT.

and then there's christmas. ohhhh christmas. like every year, i waited until december to shop. however, unlike other years, i am doing all of my shopping online. i'll be damned if im fighting off some soccer mom for a snuggie or standing in lines that are 5 blocks long to buy something i could have had mailed to my doorstep. no. id say im about half way done. im having a hard time coming up with inexpensive ideas that aren't really stupid and still have some sort of thought put into it. sure, i can buy everyone socks and call it a day, but that's not really what i do. it'll come together. or i guess, there's always the sock idea. or pink, footie bunny pajamas...

this post has really been a bitch fest. sorry! i'm not really that needy or pouty. i guess i just needed to vent. im working on our save the dates tonight and im actually really excited about it. i bought stamps for our xmas cards and will mail those out tomorrow. done and done. moving right along. maybe motivation will find me on the couch tonight...

everything but the kitchen sink

**i have been a huge slacker [well, i've sort of had an excuse, i was sick for the last 5 days] and haven't posted everyday for NaBloPoMo. BUT, i am doing the super-duper-mega-huge post i promised days ago and including all of the topics that i missed. don't be scared, i'll keep it short. so, without further adieu....

wednesday, november 4 - frenemies
a topic everyone can relate to. we all know people that we can't frickin' stand, who we wouldn't normally touch with a ten foot pole, but we are required to be civil because of work or common friends or they're your significant other's friends, or whatever. "friends" because you have to be. i have a hard time being nice to people i frickin' hate don't care much for, so being a "frenemie" is more than challenging.

thursday, november 5 - if i could have one gadget named after me, it would be...
i have no idea. it would most likely be something that is a quick read, doesn't require much patients and serves a very useful purpose. why would you waste your time with anything else that didn't fit those specs?

friday, november 6 - health care & health bars - any connection?
i don't know what kind of people are coming up with these topics, but i am not impressed. anyway, they are both about health? hello? health care is overpriced and never as good as you think/want it to be. and so are health bars. done and done.

saturday, november 7 - orange
for real? hmmmmm ok for this one, things that are orange: oranges [duh], shorts at hooters, the "publish post" button in blogger, an awesome plastic chair i own from the purdue health center circa 1970, a tiger without stripes, clock work orange [not the color orange but a delightfuly effed up movie], basketballs, goldfish crackers. that's all i got. oh, and the word orange is one of the only words in the english language that doesn't rhyme with anything. hmph.

sunday, november 8 - conspiracy theory
i'm convinced that the government is one big, gigantic conspiracy theory. they know so much more then they let on or that they tell us. all these movies about aliens and transformers and secret organizations. totally believable and real. i mean the idea that the government has been hiding these things for years and there are super secret departments with top security clearance guarding optimus prime 5 mi beneath the surface of the earth. why is it so hard to believe? our recent history is based off of the ignorance of the american people. for example, 9-11, you don't think the government knew about that in advance? if you answered no, you would be wrong.

monday, november 9 - past
past. i am a big "past" person. i reminisce often. i still laugh at memories i have from college, drum corps, high school, grade school even. we learn from the past. from bad/good relationships, run-ins with the law, things we learned in school, by testing our alcohol limit, everyday human interaction. we are who we are today because of our past. our past shapes our future. the past can be 10 years ago, 10 days ago, 10 minutes ago.

however, dwelling in past events isn't healthy. we can't change anything that has happened, so there isn't a point. you really have to wonder though, and i know i do sometimes, what if? what if i would have pursued my love of dance and went to a different college? what if i wasn't perpetually 5 minutes late? what if my parents didn't get divorced? what if i didn't luck out and find a job last may? what if? there's really no use in doing that either, but it's interesting to think about. like one of those books that lets you choose what happens next; should you go down road A or B? Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads... :)

My bad day

Sooo I know I said that I was doing a super duper mega post today, but it turns out I lied. My car drama is now buy a new car drama. Ughhh. The problem with the car will cost almost as much as it's worth so i've been advised to junk it. On top of it, I got the flu today! Whoo hoo for me! At least I'm posting something everyday to keep up with NaBloPoMo. Even if they are meaningless.


-- Post From My iPhone

Potential New years resolutions...sort of

So this is a fake post. It's just taking up today's post's spot since I can't actually post about today's topic. It's a long story. Car drama. I'll spare u the craziness. Tomorrow I will be doing a super double post! Get excited. Today's topic is "potential new years resolutions". I'll just say that in my 15ish years of making resolutions, I have only ever kept one. Quitting smoking in 2004. My fiancé asked that I stopped and I pretty much quit cold turkey. [pat on my back] I'll post about more NYE resoltions tomorrow along with the ever intriguing topic of frenemies...


-- Post From My iPhone

unique holiday tradition

sooo i thought long and hard about this topic and couldn't come up with a single holiday tradition that could be deemed "unique". silly, strange and ridiculous, yes. but unique, not so much. the only thing that i guess might be unique is the fact that i, more or less, have to suffer through two of each holiday bc my parents are divorced. i have two birthdays, two thanksgivings and two christmases. sure this may sound awesome, but let me assure you, it is anything but. i think it would be fine if i got a full day with each family for each holiday, but again not the case. i have to split the day and cut my visiting with each side of the family short. only getting to see uncles and cousins that i see strictly on the holidays for just a couple short hours. when most get excited to go christmas shopping, bake cookies and listen to christmas music the day after halloween, i begin to dread the upcoming holidays. the guilt rolls over me like a frickin steam roller as i start think about splitting my time and having to leave one family early and see the other family late. it makes me sick to my stomach....theres that irrational behavior again. i guess you can kind of call me a grinch...but i dont want to ruin it for other people. i guess a grinch in my own head?

that being said, i cant imagine not being with either side of the family for the holidays. thinking about missing out on one sides celebration makes me really sad. everytime i consider "well maybe ill do thanksgiving with mom and christmas with dad this year", it always comes up a wash bc i ALWAYS choose to do both. holidays aren't holidays without my family.

and NOW i have my fiance's family that i need to work into the equation. they live 5 hrs away so that makes it even more complex. this is the first round of holidays where i've had to split among 3 families. ill let you know how that turns out.

**i sort of thought of something that i guess could be called a tradition. every year that jeff and i have been dating, i have bought him an ornament for the christmas tree i hoped we'd have together one day. i tried to always find a picture ornament with the year on it so we could look back and laugh at how we looked through the years. this is the first year we will have our own tree and finally get to use all of the ornaments. the thought really does make me warm and fuzzy inside :)

Irrational Fears

i am trying something new this month. a coworker (jenalo) asked if i wanted to participate in this "blogothon" for the entire month of november. i said sure, why not? the idea is that everyday there will be a new topic, each submitted by different people, and i have to post a blog about it. whether its just a sentence, a photo, a full entry or whatever. i think it will be fun and im excited to start! if anyone else is interested, just let me know. ok...entry 1....

irrational fear.

now, i'd like to think all of my fears are rational. wouldn't we all? i have a fear of heights, fear of the dentist, fear of boats, fear of flying, fear of losing loved ones...i'm starting to sound like a freak. but i think they are all legit fears. allow me to elaborate on why i think they are, in fact, rational fears...

fear of heights. i developed this fear later on in life. being up high never used to bother me. now i am terrified. i still love rollercosters, i dont understand the limitations of this fear, but even if i did, id still be afraid so what difference does it make. this fear definately limits my experieces. when i was in italy, we climbed 400+ stairs in the cathedral in florence to the lantern on top to see a breath taking view of the city. i got to the top and i was frozen. i clung to the wall. i couldn't move. my fear had paralyzed me. when i tried to move i was shaking like a leaf. my friends had to pull me back inside. i think a fear of plummeting to my death from a 600 year old 400 ft. dome is a perfectly rational fear.

fear of the dentist. i have always disliked the dentist. the smell, the sounds, the pulling and scrapping and flossing. no thank you. this fear came to a head about a year a go when i was there for my routine annual cleaning. the idiot dental hygensist found a cavity and made an entirely too big of a deal out of it and freaked me out. saying things like "oh my god, its huge! how did you not feel this?" now, for real? my stomach flipped flopped and i got all sweaty as she showed me the cavity with a mirror. i freaked out and had an anxiety attack. luckily, my dad's girlfriend works at the dentist office and came in and settled me down. i was crying and hysterical and shaking....i guess you may call this irrational behavior. the actual dentist came in and took a look at the cavity and said that the hygienist was wrong to make such a big deal over it since it was actually not that bad at all. i wanted to punch that chick in the mouth. i refuse to let her come near my teeth now.

fear of boats. this is also a recent fear. im a good swimmer. i always have been. i have never had a scare of almost drowning or known anyone that has drowned. i honestly dont know exactly where this fear came from. it could have possibly came from watching shows on the discovery channel about the depths of the ocean and all the crazy crap that is down there. i dont like knowing that below me, there can be a mile's worth of sharks and poisonous jellyfish, eels, funky seaweed and whatever. and to think, i wanted to be a marine biologist. i cant go for a joy ride on a boat on the lake with friends and you can forget getting me on a cruise ship. im perfectly content on land.

fear of flying. again, perfectly rational. and yes, i am aware of the statistics. flying is safer than driving. you have a greater chance of getting into a car accident than you do a plane accident, yadda yadda it doesnt matter. im still scared. when im in a plane, i cant help think about that i am 30,000 feet above the ground. 30,000 feet! i have zero control of what happens in airplane also and im a bit of a control freak these days. i start to feel claustrophobic and get sweaty and crazy feeling. yes i have had a few anxiety attacks on airplanes. my typical airplane behavior consists of me taking some sort of sleeping pill, telling my neighbor not to wake me up, no matter how fantastic the little free snack sounds, put in my earbuds for my ipod and zonk out. if there is a disturbance in this pattern, i will literally freak out. ive been better though. i have to talk myself out of my hysterics. one day i will have children and take them on vacation and i can't act like a freak when we fly.

fear of losing loved ones. i dont think i even need to explain this. we all have a fear of losing people we love. i think its part of human nature.

well this little excersise has given me a bit of a complex. i sound like a freak. i hope all this months posts dont involve self reflection. not sure i can handle it :) but i assure you, all my fears are still perfectly rational...

i WAS going to write about this crazy girl that called into the radio station i listen to every morning. the topic was irrational fears and her fear was of mustard. how weird is that? she would sooner die than eat it and she didnt even want to be near a bottle of it. she worked as a waitress and would start to have an anxiety attack when someone ordered a burger bc she was worried they would ask for mustard on it. wow, freak. at least there are people with weirder, more irrational fears than me!

Sugar better than Splenda

Since I'm doing my marathon training, I can't eat sweets. However I have found an alternative...




YUM

-- Post From My iPhone

back into the swing of things

hello blogosphere. i'm back. a lot has happened since my last post and in order to spare you all the boring details, i'll just summerize:

-i moved to chicago! my finace and i got an apt. in lakeview and we absolutely love it. i walked a mile to the grocery store today and couldn't help but think, this is awesome. i love the hustle and bustle, taking public transportation and NOT getting lost, the shopping, restaurants, being close to my friends, music and theater events that are every night somewhere, the red eye, and on and on. we love our place too. it took a little while for it to grow on me, but it has, and its great. we have a ton of space. the kitties seem happy. the only problem is we need parking. we're trying to find rented spots before the first sn*w fall. that's right, i'm not saying sn*w. it's a naughty word and i don't like it.

-wedding planning. uggggggh. this is sort of bittersweet. i'm so excited to get married and to have a wedding, but i am SUCH a procrastinator. there is just SO much to do and it's easy to get overwhelmed and just say screw it! i am so OCD about this kind of stuff to, so wanting everything to be perfect doesn't help. thankfully, i have my MOH koubie to keep me in check. she's my wedding drill sergeant. if it weren't for her, i probably wouldn't have a single thing planned yet. thank god for koubie. the wedding is like 200 something days away (is it bad that i don't know exactly how many?). it'll get done. i'll do a later post about wedding details thus far.

-marathon training. another uggggggggh. yesterday was the first day and it was totally fine, im exaggerating with the ugh. it's going to be difficult bc i am severely out of shape, but i know i can do it. my other MOH jacki is whipping my ass into shape. she's my hot body drill sergeant. when did i enlist in the army? don't recall. it'll be great though. jacki is a great motivator and is so knowledgeable about being healthy and working out to get desired results. she's going to make me a hot bride and i'm way grateful. i have been told that this first month will be light, and it will ease my body into running, but she's cracking the whip month 2. oh boy. but anyway, MARATHON. so it's really a mini marathon. we first have to crawl right? i can't run a half mile right now let alone 26mi so we thought we'd start with 13. There are two minis next year, one in august and the other in september. we have have almost a year so i feel pretty confident. mind you, i say this one day in and we pretty much took today off. great progress so far.

i think that might be all? i know i said a lot has happened but i guess it's just 3 main things. whatever, feels like a lot in my little world.

SIDE NOTE: a little something that is bugging the HELL out of me is the number of people i know that have gotten knocked up in the last month or so. WTF? I want to say there are at least 10 people. 10! i dont know that many people, so 10 is a frickin lot. i dont know what the hell is going on. its freaking me out. don't drink the koolaid. i so dont want a baby right now. i want to just BE for awhile before i get strapped down with a kid. i shouldn't say that, bad karma. the gift of a child is a blessing and blah, blah. in due time.

ok for now, i believe that this is all. i feel good and re-energized that i blogged again! it had seriously been too long. my goal is to post once a week, but i want to do more if possible.eh we will see. i hope everyone is having a fabulous week!

We get Internet today

I know. It's exciting. I'll be returning to the Blogosphere very soon with the long awaited update. Get ready...


-- Post From My iPhone

The long awaited update

I'm still alive! I have missed blogging te last couple of months! I will have Internet and more time soon (hopefully) so I will be back in the swing of things shortly. I'm sitting at o'hare airport waiting to board my flight for Boston. Yay for a weekend trip! The wait has given me time to catch you up on what's been going on with my life the past few months. Here are highlights from my awesome summer:
• I GOT ENGAGED!!! June 8th my man finally popped the question and I am so freaking excited!!! And true to his romantic form, he proposed in front if Buckingham Fountian. Just like a fairy tale...
• we signed a lease for our first apartment. Also very exciting!!! We are moving to Chicago in October and will be living in the same city for the first time ever!
• summer of concerts. I missed Britney when I had the (almost) swine flu, went to NKOTB with Mary Evelyn and M Diddy (it was freaking awesome!), OAR, Life House, I was supposed to go to PCD but it got canceled, fallout boy-panic at the disco- blink182 in a couple weeks, Carrie underwood at the end of the month and DMB in September!!!!
• catching up with old friends. Something I've wanted to do for a loooong time. I've gotten to see my girls a lot this summer and I am thankful for that!

I'm sure there is more stuff but I honestly can't remember. I have been ungodly busy between bridesmaid duties, planning our wedding, looking for an apt, long work hours and family obligations. I am looking forward to Sept. 1 when our 10 hr work days are over. I'll miss my three day weekends, but I will love getting home before dark! I hope to write again soon. Missed you!

-- Post From My iPhone

i can't sleep

I can't sleep. I'm not even tired. Do I know Tyler Durdan? Given the last few days I should be exhausted. I was, about 4 hours ago, but then I made a big mistake. I sat down on my bed with my laptop and headphones ready to watch ONE episode of DEXTER season 2. 4 hours later I am still awake and four episodes farther into the season.

This show is like heroin. I can't get enough. It's disturbing really. Dexter's character should not be so appealing, but like a car wreck, I can't look away. For those that don't know, Dexter is a blood splat analyst for the Miami PD by day and a serial killer by night. He is also a sociopath. I am drawn to this story like a moth to a flame. I don't know what it is. Right now as I am writing this, I have a nervous stomach because I want to know what comes next.

He is so smart and organized. Compulsive some would say. He is also void of caring about how others feel. I wish I could be that way sometimes. Not care how others feel. Not feel myself. Not worry about doing the right thing or what it means if I hope for the wrong thing. It's f*ed up, but having the kind of organized power that he does is intruiging. Is this what I want? What I am? A murderer? Hell no. I can't stand the sight or smell of blood.

I do find myself rationalizing his methods. Harry's code. He only kills other murderers. Cleaning up the city's garbage. Kind of like a super hero right? Except Batman and Spiderman didn't chop up their villians, stuff them in industrial garbage bags and throw them into the ocean to hopefully never be seen again. Almost, but not quite.

I am jealous that he can't feel feelings. I wonder what that would be like. How much time I would save. How it would change my life.

This is the crazy shit that you think about when you are up way past your bedtime. This is what makes me lose even more sleep and my concentration. This is ultimately what gets me into trouble. Maybe Dexter and I have more in common than I thought.


-- Post From My iPhone

someone's got a case of the mondays

monday.

ick.

i have been so ridiculously unmotivated all day today. everything has been getting on my nerves. i hate days like that. i couldn't get into my work which makes the day even longer. i was a bit of a slacker today: checking blogs, looking for hotel rooms (and having no luck) and looking for an apartment.

the apartment search is getting interesting. it is starting to stress me out already. i dont know if i will be able to find what i want and what i can afford in one place. that stinks. i think i have set my expectations too high. i am hoping to find something similar to carrie bradshaw's fabulous roomy rent-controlled studio...fat chance. ill be going to check out a few places soon though, so that is exciting. i cant wait for the change of pace. being on my own again and not having to report to someone constantly: where are you going? what time will you be home? who will be there? what are you going to do?

i am 25 not 15, i can handle it.

as far as work goes. i totally feel like peter from office space. i just dont feel like doing anything. there is also just so much petty stuff that i dont feel like dealing with. i have a definite “case of the mondays” and its terrible. hearing people whistling and humming in my office doesnt help either. i currently have my ipod on top volume to drown out all the annoyances. i wish i had a cubicle so i could just hide. its not that im antisocial, i just dont feel like talking to people.

i almost feel guilty putting up such a negative post. almost...

paging nurse betty

muffin [pictured on left with peanut on the right] was making nurses' hats for one of our dreamers who wants to be a nurse.

**i dont know if i've posted about our dreamers yet. if not, its part of an organization that makes dreams come true for elders....much like make a wish foundation.**

this dreamer always wanted to be a nurse. we were just giving the hats a test run....fun right? ill probably forget i have it on and go down the hall to the bathroom...getting stares all along.

when life gives you lemons....make a lemon drop martini

i just wanted to give a quick thank you to m.e. for giving me the lemonade award. even though i haven't been posting as much as i would like, m.e. is still encouraging me and making sure to add comments as soon as i post! thank you!

And now, to pass it on to a few of my faves:
organized chaos
symphonic discord
jenalo
the bartemptress
dancing backwards in high heels

Digging myself out

I have been in a rut. A deep one. On this beautiful, sunny Sunday morning, I have decided it's time to dig myself out.

For the past two months I have been really unsure of myself. I don't know why. And thats frustrating. Today is the sixth day I have been held captive like by the flu. I was tested for swine flu on Tuesday. They had to do a culture through my nose and I haven't been able to blow my nose since. I am too week to really do anything yet. I ventures out to store yesterday for a very short time and got dizzy and had to come home. I hate the feelin of being trapped by my own body.

Anyway, all this downtime has given me a lot of time to think. I have set some goals for myself that I want to accomplish by the end of the summer (say July 31st).

- update my resume and portfolio. I have been saying that I want to give them a make over for months and jus haven't made the time to make it happen. Not anymore.

-relearn web design. Not knowing web restricts me from
advancing in my career. I have been puttin it off bc I didn't want to spend the time or money, I'm not making excuses anymore.

-lose 20-30 lbs. This may sound unrealistic to some, but it is not in my case and is totally necessary. I am going on 6 years of being overweight and it's going to end. I'm in my 20's. I should be in the best shape of my life...and hopefully I will be by August.

- move into an apartment in Chicago. I have wanted to live downtown since I was in high school but have been to scared to make the move. Once my gram moves into her condo, hopefully by the end of the month, I am moving to the greatest city in the US. I'm starting to look tomorrow. Any suggestions, I'm all ears.

These are just a few of the big ones. I also want to learn how to paint and to take dance classes again, but I think the otherthigs are more important to me at this time. I also want to make daily posts to my blog, but not having Internet really hinders my ability. Posting from my phone is such a pain in the ass.

I refuse to be unhappy anymore. Ive never settled for anything less than I wanted before, so why am I now? Time to take control. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Wish me luck.

-- Post From My iPhone

just for m.e.

my impromptu pic complete with Jen holding a banana up in the background.

make sure to take notice of my zac efron cut out from the newspaper. it just proves my ever inapporiate crush on the child.

It's beginning to look at like like...spring time?

I love nice weather. It doesn't even have to be that warm or sun shiney. Just nice. I'm sitting on a bench waiting for a train to take me to the glorious city of Chicago. I am at least 20 min early, of course (in the words of our wise ol' band director: if you are on time, you're late!). As I sit, I have time to appreciate what a beautiful day it is.

My phone is telling me it's 72 degrees. It's breezy and overcast, but still beautiful. I can hear birds chirp and sing with their friends, hear my hair gently rustle as a cool breeze passes through my curls. Opera music is being carried on that same breeze from a near by open apartment window. A fine soundtrack to this beautiful afternoon. I can also smell the sweet fragrance of freshly cut grass. Someone must have been doing yard work today.

This is the first day this season that I have been able to wear a short sleeves shirt without a jacket AND flip flops at the same time. My toes are relishing in the breezy freedom the flips provide.

It most certainly looks like rain, but it will be a spring rain instead of a winter one. The air probably won't cool to less than 60 degrees which means the rain will not freeze over night. Definitely a sign of summer.

However, I am not completely optimistic, I never am. I have a jacket tucked under the arm of my overnight bag. One can only hope for many mor of these beautiful days in the upcoming months.



-- Post From My iPhone

I feel out of place

As I write, I am in a meeting at work. It's a weekly meeting that I normally do not attend. Today I'm simply filling in bc my boss is out of town. Today, I shouldn't be in this meeting. I'm a lowly, hourly employee. A peon. The other people in attendance are our company's VP's and managers.

I feel out of place.

We are in a conference call that is dealing with a subject matter that is out of my league. It's about something I really don't even need to know about. I get the feeling that I shouldn't be here.

I feel awkward!

Do I sit and pretend to pay attention? Or do I bolt for the door? Of course I sat on the far side of the room, the very farthest seat from the door, when every other time I attend I sit right by the door so I can get the hell out of there asap.

I think I'm going to make a break for it...

If I survive, I have a margaritas and movie date with m.e. tonight that I couldn't be more excited for!


-- Post From My iPhone

If I were a dwarf today, I would be frickin Grumpy

When I went to bed last night, I predicted I would be grumpy today. At the time, I didn't know the reason or reasons that would cause said grumpiness, but upon awaking, I was slapped in the face with a big fat helping of grumpy.

I woke up with cramps. Never good. Irritated and pained, I went to the basement to take a shower and get ready for work. I peaked outside to check what weather to dress for and found 3 inches of slushy snow on the ground. Yuck. I put my cute and springy peep toe pumps in the back of the closet and grudgingly reached for my uggs. I thought I was done with this until November.

I pulled myself together and tip toed out of the house, being careful not to wake gram. After I locked the door and went to my car, I felt the grumpiness creep up on me again. An ugly flat tire was staring me in the face. Seriously? Today? I just stood and stared at it for a few moments. I was pissed to say the least. I called my dad so he could help me change the tire. I hated to call him bc I didn't want him to get dirty and start his morning off fixing a flat tire. But, of course, daddy came to save the day. We filled the tire and took it to the shop to get patched. This is all happened by 8:30am.

Did I mention I'm not a morning person? Will the rest of the day be as disappointing?

To be continued...


-- Post From My iPhone

Helllooooo

I realize I haven't updated my blog in about 2 weeks. Everytime I think about it I get a little mopey. It has been something I have really enjoyed amd it makes me sad that I haven't been able to do! I haven't had Internet service for almost a month as I've been staying with my gram.

SO that is my excuse. I did purchase an app for my phone to update my blog but it is harder to use than I had origianally predicted. I can't type as fast and the autocomplete chooses whatever words it feels like instead of the words I want. As I have mentioned before, I HATE typos. One of my biggest pet peeves. (as a side note: I fully intend to write an entry about my laundry list of pet peeves. I'm sure you will have many of them in common). This app makes it a pain to check for typos so I just say the hell with it and just let it go.

So I have decided that I need to have a shopping day. I'm so excited! I want to buy shoes and underwear and some books. The boy toy introduced me to the show Dexter on Showtime and I love it! I really want to buy the books it's based off of, though I have no idea when I'll actually have time to read them :-/ The next Sookie Stackhouse novel came out yesterday and I need to add that to my collection also. Speaking of...season 2 of TrueBlood starts June 14! So excited!

Ok my free time is up. I'm hanging out with my two lil cousins tonight and they are keeping me busy making Easter pictures and watching the lion king! I hope to write again soon.



-- Post From My iPhone

problems in the work place

this is just a quick little snippet of what is to come later, as i am at work and have a limited window of time to bring this little diddy to you. does anyone have problems with coworkers?

people laughing too loud, on the phone constantly, abrasive attitudes, cold shoulders, slamming of tools/other objects, heavy sighs, whispering, snickering and the like?

sometimes i feel like you can cut the tension with an xacto knife.

more to come...

My kind of town

I love Chicago. The tall buildings, all the people, the general hustle and bustle. The city itself is like a living and breathing organism. People constantly coming and going. Everyone has their own agenda. I love the sound of cars and horns honking down below as I lie in bed in our swanky hotel room at the allerton.

The boy toy and I spent the weekend in Chicago. The reason for the trip was to see the field museum of natural history and then go to the south side Irish parade the next day. The pirate exhibit at the museum was sold out and we were pretty bummed. We walked around and saw a temporary Aztec exhibit and some ancient egyption stuff, but we got pretty bored and left early. There were also hundreds of kids there, rude and annoying kids, that we wanted to get away from pronto. We ended up taking advantage of the beautiful weather and walk the 2.5 miles from the museum to the hotel.

We window shopped, ate sushi and enjoyed some cocktails. There is so much to do in Chicago and we went home pretty early. We were both so tired! We were thinking that we would have an early wake up call to go to the parade the next day but we were wrong. My friend, Peanut, whom we were supposed to meet at the parade, had a minor mishap the nght before and gave herself a goose egg on her head. Needless to say she didn't make it to the parade. Boy toy and I decided to walk around and just enjoy the nice day.

We tried out my wii fit last night. I was very disappointed when I set up my wii mii and it turned out to be very chubby. I k ow I'm not as thin as I used to be but come on. I don't need some cartoon likeness mocking me! Anyway, wii fit is totally dun and has a little something for everyone. I'm definitely looking forward to unlocking new excercises and games.

This entry is pretty lame, I know. It's also the first entry that i've done using a new app on my iPhone. So of this is full of spelling and grammatical errors (one of my pet peeved) I do apologize. I have been staying with my gram and she doesntbhave Internet so I have to make due with what I have!

Hopefully there will be more exciting things to come...

birthday afoot

today was a friend's birthday at work. he HATES feet. the girls and i decided it would be cute if we made him a foot cake. here is what our masterminds came up with:


complete with Frito scoops as toe nails and Hershey chocolate eggs as moles. mmmm mmm creepy.

material girl

i was listening to my ipod at work, desperately trying to drown out the soft core porn techno that was playing from across the office, when madonna’s material girl started playing. i started to tap my feet and swing my head back and forth to the beat, pursing my lips and lip syncing and sort of making an ass out of myself. muffin, who sits at the desk right next to me, gave me the stink eye for dancing. i love you muffin :) so i was listening to the lyrics and thinking....hmmm material girl. we are all sort of material girls right? sort of? we like certain belongings of ours and probably would be less than pleased if we weren’t able to use them anymore. so, i thought i would share my top 10 material items that i would have a hard time living without:

1. my iphone. i’ve had this phone for just over a year and i am seriously lost when i accidentally leave it at home or forget to charge the battery. i absolutely love being able to text, get email, surf the web, call, balance my checkbook, play online poker, listen to my ipod and google, whenever i want.

2. a really good book. i won’t name a specific book, any book will do. if its a book off of my favorites list, that would be ok too. getting lost in a good book is one of my favorite hobbies. i feel like its more worth while than frying my brain watching a movie (although i looooove movies too)

3. a good pair of baggy, soft sweatpants. i like to sag my sweats way down until they are right about my butt. i pull the elastic by my ankle down around the arch of my foot so they cover my heel, but my toes are still showing. the crotch of the pants has to be somewhere around my knees for me to be absolutely comfortable. this is probably due to my “thug” days in high school. if you could even call them thug. i won’t wear these pants out of the house unless it’s absolutely necessary (although in high school, and college i regret to say, i wore them out many a time).

4. a big hoodie. hoodies are a staple in my wardrobe and i will never be without one. i have 4 purdue hoodies and i love each and everyone. 3 of them aren’t even warm anymore because the material has thinned from being washed so many times. the arms are starting to pill from constant wear. my go-to outfit is baggy sweats and a hoodie. mmmmm comfy.

5. music. music can change my mood instantly, or enhance it depending on the song. i love to dance and sing, although i don’t do either very well. dancing around my room or in the car feels like such a release sometimes.

6. chapstick. i have become dependent on my chapstick. i rarely wear anything else on my lips. i have blistex sleek and shine and regular old chapstick brand chapstick in my purse. these lips are never dry or cracked.

7. uggs. they are so ugly, but oh so comfy. they pull right on, too, which makes them so convenient.

8. flip flops. do i really even need to explain this one?

9. my mac. i love my computer. it was a big purchase, but it was def worth the price tag. its spectacular and it makes me happy :)

10. the complete sex and the city collection. this show can cheer me up on a day when i want to write off the world, or when i feel like the world has written off me. i laugh at the ridiculous humor and relate to some of their crazy situations. i cry when carrie gets her heartbroken and get excited when she makes a shoe purchase :) i watch this series over and over again and it never gets old.

well, i have to be honest and tell you that it was really hard coming up with 10 things. i am really not that materialistic after all. that makes me feel pretty good. i think i could leave my things behind without too much of a fight, but i don’t intend to find out anytime soon.

what are some of your favorite things?

let's take a moment to admire this man, fake or not

i know i have been slacking on my blog entries, i apologize, but m.e. was kind enough to forward on this photo to me, fake or not. i love the twilight series and am totally pumped for new moon to come out in november. this poster was taken off of perez hilton's website and looks totally yummy. real or not. the background looks a little too cheesey to be real, and i'm pretty sure rob pattison's head has been photoshoped on someone else's body, but still...YUM. if you haven't read the twilight series yet, i strongly suggest you take a peek :)

you likey?

i decided to spice things up on my page.  i cant decide if i like it or not.  what do you think? yay or nay?

38 days and 38 nights

i decided to jump on the band wagon a little late, hence the title. i haven't given anything up for lent in a really long time, i honestly couldn't even tell you how long. i was raised catholic, but don't believe in it now. i actually never really did. but since it was a subject in school my entire life [i went to catholic school k-13], i had to play along. i am giving up a few thing not because of what the sacrifice stands for, but because now is as good a time as ever to drop a few bad habits.

i originally vowed to give up french fries. they have become a staple in my diet for the last few months and it is absolutely terrible....no wonder my pants are just slightly tighter than they used to be. the vow has been extended to all fried foods....yikes. this list tentatively includes: french fries, onion rings, fried chicken/shrimp/veggies, donuts, you name it. i never used to eat so many bad things, but lately, i can't help myself. the winter season has made me eat a terribly unhealthy diet and gain a few extra lbs. that have actually kept me quite warm during these exceptionally chilly months.

pop is also on the black list. i shouldn't be drinking pop anyway. according to my dentist, i have soft teeth and they can't handle the acidity of pop. i have a cavity nearly every time i go to the dentist, that alone should be motivation for me to stop drinking pop, you would think. i am more of a water girl anyway. i don't think this one will be too difficult, but every once and a while i get a craving for a fizzy lifting drink.

this next item isn't something i am giving up, but something i am going to do. i want to do pilates at least 3 times a week and one weekend day. i bought these windsor pilates tapes off of an info-mercial about 7 years ago. when i first bought them, i did pilates all the time and loved it. then i fell off the wagon and haven't done it consistently since. the tapes have been collecting dust in my closet and have also become a place to stack t-shirts. well that is about to change. my cousin and i did pilates on tuesday. [just to give you a visual: you kind of need a lot of room to do pilates. my cousin and i were on the floor in my bedroom in an area that probably measured 6'x8'. not really a lot of space for two people to swing their bodies around on the floor. not to mention that we were almost always kicking furniture or each other in the face] i forgot how much i really liked pilates. i love the way my abs burn for about an hour when i'm done with the tape. it makes you feel like the effort you just put forth was worth the pain. it also delivers results in like a week. how can i not give up an hour of my time 4 days a week to get a little exercise and drop a dress size or two?

we'll see how my pledges will hold up. 38 days/nights and counting...

the cats' meow

Meet my kitties, Casey and Puma.  These are my babies.  Casey just turned 4 and Puma is a year and a half.  These boys are a handful.  They look chill and loving now, but they will tear through the house like a herd of elephants.  The will roll head over tail to tackle the other and bite at their back leg or neck. Clumps of fur will blow across the floor like tumble weeds in an old western.  Then after I break up the fight, 10 minutes later they will look like the picture above.  Sweet right?

Sometimes we call Casey "Butter" because he is the color of butterscotch and he is a sweetheart. Casey is a total lap cat.  As soon as you sit down he will look up at you with those doe eyes, silently pleading with you to let him hop up on your lap to cuddle.  Once he finds his comfy place he will "make muffins" on the flabbiest part of your mid section, purring loudly all along.  Give him 2 minutes and he is a passed out, sack of potatoes on your lap.  He also likes to lay on your chest when you are lying in bed.  Casey is 13 lbs. so he is no waif. He will knead and knead and knead your chest. He will then, almost always, drool onto your face/hand/blanket. It's gross, but you know he is just so happy so you don' really care. He is such a lover.

Puma's nickname is "Shadow" because he is constantly under your feet.  When I get up in the morning, I almost always fall flat on my face because I trip over Puma from my room to the bathroom and back again.  And he does his fake, little squeak meow on top of it. [it's so pathetic and precious at the same time, i love it] He has now demanded that he come in the bathroom with me when I get ready in the morning.  He will sit on the shower mat while I am in the shower and then weave in and out of my legs for about 5 minutes when I get out.  If you have food, forget about it.  He will have his little face or paw in your plate/bowl/cup before you know it.  He will eat almost anything too.  Turkey is his absolute favorite.  He jumps about two feet in the air as soon as you pull the package out of the refrigerator. Puma doesn't really like to be held.  He will play along for about 30 seconds, but then he will start squirming and clawing to get away from you. I think it's all a show. I bet he secretly loves it.  He will lie within an arm's distance and to him that's close enough.  He looooooves to stretch out like a hot dog and have you rub his belly [see below]. Puma is the most loyal animal I have ever had and he loves his momma :)

i, stephanie taylor, am addicted to blogging

though i have only posted a handful of times, i am addicted to blogging.  i have only been part of this exclusive group for about 6 days, but i find that it is all i can think about.  i have so many things i want to share and get off my chest and just ramble about. i talk to m.e. about blogging while we're at work. mind you we don't work together, but we sneakily use gchat, like passing notes under our desks in junior high, except you can't fold gchat into a paper football, shucks. i love reading what other people write.  seeing if others find the same things relevant, or irrelevant for that matter, that i do.  i feel like it is an outlet for me when i have too much on my mind.  i can unload and speak freely and not worry about judgement, i hope. yay for blogging! thanks m.e. and muffin for introducing me!

submerged

i stood in the shower today for longer than what was necessary. it felt so good to let the hot water beat down on my back.  the weather was particularly cold and blistery today and it made escaping to the warm haven of the shower wonderful. i stood with my back to the shower head, my hands on the back of my neck, head down, eyes closed.  the water steadily washing over the back of my head and down my shoulders.  i tilted my head back so the hot water would run over my face. my ears became clouded as water rushed off the top of my head.  it gave the illusion of being underwater.  it was so peaceful. so quite.  i could have fallen asleep standing up. being underwater is so comfortable.  your body is suspended in the water, weightless. your mind can unwind in the silence that envelops you when you are floating under the surface. such a serene place, i let my mind wander.

the dramatic side of me crept to the surface: if you are under water and you take a breath, it will jolt you out of your nirvana and set your lungs on fire. one breath will send you sputtering to the surface in full panic mode. it will make you forget how to swim and lose your sense of direction.  it will make you regret ever getting into the water.

the path my thoughts had taken shook me out of my warm daze and made me shut of the water.  i am terrified of drowning. 

4 inches above the rest

the suggestion for my "blog description" was given to me by one of my coworkers whom i love dearly, let's call her muffin [long story, she calls me cookay].  "because my 4 inch stilettos are killing me" suits me because i wear 4 inchers to work almost everyday.  i love these shoes: 4 inch, black, patent leather mary janes from aldo. i think these shoes were made for someone who just wants to look pretty or for someone who has a desk job.  i am all over at work: up and down stairs, back and forth from the printer, on and off the boat.  the balls of my feet are killing me at the end of the day, but i really don't care.  i wear them anyway. and i look fabulous. 

it is safe to say that i have a shoe obsession.  i can walk away from the mall with a pair of shoes each time i go.  during these hard times, i try to restrain myself and it works...sometimes.  i would love to have a closet, just for shoes, full of manolo blahnik, jimmy choo and christian louboutin. i admire their beauty and craftsmanship....at least, that is what i tell myself to rationalize the price tag.  i blame sex and the city for introducing me to these high-priced wonders.  i didn't know who these designers were before i watched the series.  in my mind, having these shoes is a status symbol. i know that if i can buy a pair of these shoes without holding my breath while estimating the balance of my checking account as i hand over my credit card, i have made it.  we'll see how that pans out.

why do women wear high heels? so high that our ankles shake and we risk teetering over? do they really make our butts look better? i like to listen to the heels 'click' on hard floors, a sound that i always loved as a child.  i like 'strutting' in my 4 inch heels, like a supermodel on a runway.  i'm not nearly as graceful.  my ankle usually gives way and i stumble, making me look less than glamorous.  

what is interesting to me is the fact that i absolutely detest feet, but love shoes.  it turns my stomach when bare feet are near me, even if they are clean enough to eat off of [puke, no way]. my own feet don't bother me, i LOVE to be barefoot. other people's feet make me uneasy.  when trying on shoes, i sometimes think about the pair of feet that were in the shoes before me. did they shower today? were their feet sweaty? were they wearing the thin little footie that the sales people give you? [as if that really prevents any nastiness from spreading onto the shoe] You might find yourself thinking about these questions the next time you try on a pair...and i don't blame you.

my favorite pairs:

1. the fore mentioned mary janes

2. black, peep toe, italian leather 3 inchers

3. tan uggs....so ugly, but so,so comfty

4. multi-color plaid chuck's

5. puma flip flops

think i'm crazy? try to walk a mile in my heels

i have arrived

well, today i bit the bullet. i entered the world of blogging. i was apprehensive at first, thinking i didn't really have anything worth writing about. but then i figured i have just as much, or as little, going on as anyone else, so why not!

i just recognized my quarter-life-crisis birthday in december. i said recognized because "celebrated" just doesn't seem like the right verb. i thought i would be farther a long with the life plan i had made for myself when i was probably a junior in high school. i realize that it seems unrealistic and dramatic to be upset that my life hasn't quite unfolded how i had "planned", but i'm going to be honest with you, i am unrealistic and dramatic sometimes. i'm a graphic designer and do freelance work on the side. i still live at home, although i long to move to chicago. i have two cats, casey and puma and i love them like children. i know i can rely on them for companionship. they are both currently lying at my feet, peacefully dreaming about catnip and bird watching i suppose. i studied italian in college and miss being able to speak and read the language. i just happen to be 100% italiana, and love learning about the culture. i am trying to brush up on my language skills - you know what they say, if you don't use it, you lose it.

i love getting lost in a movie or a really good book. as i write, i am watching season 2 of house, a show that i have become slightly obsessed with. the strange cases are so interesting. i love that things are never as they seem. i am amazed at the doctors' ability to know about so many diseases, symptoms and the like, even if it is just a show. like i said, unrealistic and dramatic.

i am also reading the sookie stackhouse novels by charlaine harris - another thing i am slightly addicted to. [*just as a side note, i just realized that both things that i am addicted to right now have the word "house" in their title, interesting] this series was the jumping off point for the hbo series trueblood. if vampire stories interest you, i strongly suggest checking out this series. i am currently on the fifth of seven books that are out right now. two new books are coming soon, one in march and another in may.

i am ridiculously excited that tomorrow is saturday and i get to sleep in. i live for saturdays. this week has been slow and long. i feel like i have been sleep walking for the last couple of days, staring blankly into space. anyway, i plan on being rejuvenated after tonight's sleep, so i hope i can provide you with some semi- interesting material to read this weekend. until then, buona sera...